Friday, May 16, 2008


I don't really like email forwards of stuff that people found on the Internet. In most cases, the only reason we receive them is because we're in someone's address book. So, unless it has a personal note or has been sent specifically to me (ex. "Hey Tom - check out this article"), I send them straight to the trash. I'm not on a campaign to stop "friendly spam" and I'm not trying to lose any friends who happen to be gross offenders (you know who you are). The real reason I write this is because I got a few laughs over some of the following comments and I know others would too. However, I'm not about to forward it to anyone. So here it is.... (By the way, I have already put a filter on my email for all of you who think it would be clever to forward me this brief article) :

They Said THIS In the Church Bulletin?

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at
7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Sunday School: Children will be led in sinning and Bible study.

Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

After the worship service...
This evening at
7 p.m. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

Ladies' Bible Study will be held Thursday at
10 a.m. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.